Soup

“It is soup” he whispered in her ear, clutching her close to his chest.

“No. That is not soup. I’m telling you, that is not soup.” she said. It was a struggle to breathe he was holding her so tight. “You need something else in it – to – to beef it up …”

 *****

 Lydia had been out Christmas shopping for a present for her boyfriend, Useph. It was almost a cliché but he really was rich, tall,  dark and handsome with a dazzling smile that would melt a glacier. Lydia had to pinch herself every time she was with him: she couldn’t believe what he saw in her. The truth was she’d never really had a boyfriend before and Lydia was truly smitten.

Erring on the far side of fat (despite her mother’s protestations that she was merely plump) she was just chuffed to have a boyfriend. She’s always been fond of her food, but Useph introduced her to so many different cuisines as each date involved a restaurant. Some of her clothes were beginning to feel rather (very) tight, but Lydia thought she’d wait until the sales began before shopping for the next size up.

What do you get for the man who has everything? Socks? Knickers? Aftershave?

Useph had invited her to stay for Christmas, hinting that there would be a lovely surprise for her when she got there. Lydia blushed as she imagined Useph and her… well… you know… Scolding herself silently, she wracked her brains to think of something that he would really want.  Time was running out: the shops would shut at 5, assistants rushing out the door so they too could spend some time with their loved ones over Christmas. Finally, she spotted a tie pin, dark and elegant and so him. Hang the expense – he really was worth it.

 *****

 Lydia arrived at his house slightly later than she intended. Useph opened the door, smiled and kissed her gently, leaving her feeling rather faint.

“Oh Lydia, you look absolutely delicious. Come into the kitchen, I need your help.”

Intrigued, she followed him into the kitchen of her dreams. Dark elegant fittings & surfaces and on a huge range cooker the most enormous pot.

“What are you making?” she asked.

“Well every year I help to feed the homeless that live on the edge of the city. I provide the soup.” he replied. “Here, can you help me stir it?”

She ambled over to have a look.

“That’s not soup” she gasped, as Useph grabbed and hugged her from behind. “It’s just vegetable peelings”

“It is soup” he whispered in her ear, clutching her close to his chest.

“No. That is not soup. I’m telling you, that is not soup.” she said. It was a struggle to breathe as he was holding her so tight. “You need something else in it – to – to beef it up …”

“Oh it will be soup, once I’ve dropped you in it”