May 2014 – Marj's writing

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend I made at university.

Now I attended uni as a (very) mature student, having ~~missed~~, no – the words should be not taken advantage of the opportunities available to me when I was younger. Looking back, I realise that I just wasn’t read to study back then, and when I did finally get round to it, I loved pretty much every single moment of the learning, even the hard times.

My friend was also a mature student and I remember when she beetled up to me on the first day, probably feeling as out-of-place as I was, in amongst all these fresh-faced kids. Frankly, I was more than old enough to be their mums. They knew it, and so did I. So my buddy and I stuck together all the way through the good times and bad and have kept in touch ever since.

She’s very lovely, very petite and… the only way to describe her is “girlie”. A complete contrast with me who (so I’m told) am also lovely, but I’m not petite and, these days, not very girlie. (I don’t think I ever was, but the memory does distort and deny stuff) For example, I’m not really a “shopper” who will spend hours looking at clothes. I’m more of a ‘shark’ who circles for a few sweeps and then Pow! I snap up what I want to buy. This is due to the fact that I can’t really buy clothes easily because I’m fat. A combination of medication and other factors have pushed me (well) outside the “norm”. It’s not something I’m comfortable with, so please don’t take the opportunity to give me a hard time, I already do that without your help. Each size increase dents my self-esteem further, and there you go… before you know it, a vicious circle is established. I don’t look in a mirror very often. If I do, it’s a cursory glance because, frankly, I’m not that keen on what I see. Something I have to sort out, and I will.

Back to yesterday.

We did the looking at make-up thing. You know… looking at eye-shadows, foundations… yeah all that. Normally, my toes would be curling up after short time and my attention would be becoming none existent. But I liked it! I really liked this sharing of girlie time and I need to do this more often.

I need to be kinder to myself and in that kindness re-discover me. I need to learn that girlie is actually ok and that I can actually like being reminded that I’m feminine and attractive and actually have a lot to offer the world. It’s bad enough I am looking for a job and not getting anywhere, so I need to value myself in other ways.

Don’t panic, it doesn’t mean an excess of pink (hot fuchsia maybe). Just an acceptance that doing “girlie things” is an ok way to spend some time with a very good friend. Here’s to us kid!

The other day it was the third anniversary of joining Twitter and I’ve been thinking about my experience so far.

1 I’ve become acquainted with some really lovely people who have made me laugh, educated me and offered words of comfort when necessary. Thank you very much, it has been quite a humbling experience to link up with you.

2 I have learned that there are times when not getting involved is probably my best course of action. This is probably cowardly, but I prefer to choose my fights. Sometimes, I think that where misunderstandings have taken place, it’s because both parties have only the words in front of them. No tone of voice, no body language, just words. Those words are often interpreted through the filter of what’s going on for you as a person, so you may think someone is being funny in the wrong sort of way, when how it was meant is something completely different. The very speed of Twitter also helps, I think, to enable the misunderstandings to escalate into full scale spats.

3 I am not impressed by the amount of cyber-bullying I’ve seen. You may perceive yourself to be absolutely right on a point, but that doesn’t mean you should set your followers onto another person to make their lives a misery. Even ‘famous’ people do it and I’m horrified at the outcomes.

4 The ability to follow a wide range of people, from all walks of life and/or political spectra is fabulous. One of the biggest thrills is that I as a reader can have is that I can actually contact the author of a book (or series) and say thank you directly to them. From this, I had the great pleasure to be involved as a beta reader for the last 2 books of a great author (Ben Galley), so my name is there in the acknowledgements for all time. What a great honour and privilege it was to be involved in helping an author out.

5 I have to mention this next part as it would be criminal to miss it out. I have recently become involved with a wonderful group of authors in the Friday Phrases (#fp) community. Each Friday we tell short stories in the 140 characters (or less) that have a twist in the tail – or should that be “tale”?? I have had so much fun with the flights of fancy and sheer gruesome tweets that have fallen out of my head, it is untrue. Let’s put it this way, my son is not quite sure he approves of the gory side of me he is now seeing… For more information follow @FridayPhrases or contact @amicgood

6 I love the fast flowing, quick-fire nature of Twitter. To me it’s like playing Pooh sticks with words whilst on speed (not that I would know about the latter part). It has been the best fun I’ve had for quite a while and I am grateful that I persevered through the first few weeks when I really did not know what I was doing.

Twitter has really been amazing. I look forward to another 3 years of highs/lows and everything in between. Thank you for following, it really has been a blast!

Month: May 2014

“Girlie things”

Happy Anniversary!